I went to downtown tonight to watch the opera "Madama Butterfly". The stage was beautiful. The music was nice. But I just wasn't in the mood to enjoy. So, I ran out the theater at the break, taking skytrain, going back home directly.
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I didn't know what I exactly felt at that moment. All I could recall is I wanna go back home. I felt sick and uncomfortable. Specially on the train, I just wish I could go back home as soon as possbile, closing the door, staying alone. Sometime, I feel safe when I am alone.
Lately, I was confused about whether I should go find a job or start my own business after graduate. I couldn't find out an answer. There are too many restrictions which made me almost crazy.
I think I am sick. I miss my camera.........and I waste 80 bucks for the show.
I wish "GoGoMenu.com" could be up and run smoothly! It's like my baby.
Bye, sweet November!
The bad news is that I got my 3rd math midterm mark back. I just passed it. enn not good not good! I lost too many points on the first question. Damn it!
The good news is that I got my 2nd Database midterm mark back as well and I got 90%. so, basically I got 70% each on avg.
Next week will be the final exam period. No matter how slack off I was this term, I will definitely fight hard for the final!
Johnson came over tonight with his baby rabbit. He need to leave the rabbit at my place for 2 hrs. It's so funny to see how muffin reacts. She was pretty nervous, walking around the cage in slow motion, staring at the rabbit for minutes. But after a while, she went a way, sleeping on her little bed.
Pets are so cute.
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I also took a picture of muffin yesterday, with her new scarf (made by Trista). :)
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But she didn't seem too happy in this picture. The main reason was I woke her up from her nice sleep. So, she need to make this face to show how ANGRY she was.
I went to Ubyssey today, talking with my editor about the job he gonna offer me, talking about what an editor really do and the payment. Ubyssey is actually looking for photo editor from Sep, 2005 to Apr, 2006. And they are willing to pay around 1500 bucks per month. Pity that I will graduate at that time, otherwise, I will get this job and enjoy it for sure. But I am still happy about the fact that my editor recommended me to take over his position.
Self-confidence is more important than anything else, because you are the only one who could make youself a miracle!
Usually, there will be a sport game on the weekend for me to shoot and there is no exception for this weekend. So I went to UBC, taking picture for both women and men's Volleyball games.
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I think I am getting more and more comfortable on shooting volleyball. I found out some nice spots which allow me to take easy picture.
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On the way to UBC, I was arguing all the way with Trista on the phone, about some unsolvable topics. and I was bad, because I made her cry. oh God, I feel so terrible about it. I was thinking about why I always argue with her? and the only reason I could come out with is that she is the one who i can really talk to or I could really argue with. And once I don't need to hide anything about myself, I become a bad mouth, terrible temper and unreasonable person, criticising every single word the other one said. What's worse, the person who stays close to me, like Trista, becomes the victim.
I feel sick of myself. and I wanna change. The one who stays close to me should be shared more of my joy other than those cold blood words. And I should take hats off to Trista for her lovable underestanding.
People say "True love never runs smoothly!", but I believe, everything will be ok!
Nothing really happened but a nice email from my Ubyssey's photo editor. He were asking whether I could be interested to be the Photo Editor next term. I could in charge of every single picture on the paper, what's more, I will have couple of guys to work for me. Plus, I could get payment. Hee hee...to me, the job title is not the thing that matters. The thing that matters is the recognition I get. A year ago, I knew nothing about camera. During this year, I tried hard, learning by myself, practicing and practicing. And now, I get what I paied. Suddenly I remember the words " a creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. "
Yup I wanna be that kind of man and I want to be better. I know I could be!
Friday night, I miss you Trista!
We drove 2.5 hrs from Burnaby down to Seattle, trying to catch some "pre-Xmas" feeling. However, all stores were closed. And the worse thing was that I couldn't even find a open public washroom. Bloody Hell!!! I have to hold it untill I found a resting area on the highway no.5, around 50KM north of Seattle.
So, basically we did nothing but driving.
However, when we drove near to the Canadian border, we were attracted by the beautiful sunset. There were too many rains in Vancouver lately and I could barely see a nice sunset. And this one indeed cheered us up from the cold winter.
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I grabed my camera out of the carry bag and took a shoot. Sometime, I do like backlighting image. It just gives you too much imaginations!
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Although we drove 450KM today and did nothing, we were still happy. Nothng is better than staying together!
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Life could be simple but wonderful!
There are lot of cute little stores, selling planty of lovely small gifts. It's so interesting. I saw these toys in a store. Aren't they funny?
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Walking around the public market, feeling so HUNGRY! When we were just gonna pick up our car and drive away. We realized that it's really a long time that we didn't take picture together. So, we asked people there to help us taking a picture. The picture is not that good, but the memory is indeed wonderful.
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And I found out that I was so alike with this guy!
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The weekend was always good, specially when you could spend it with someone you love. Thank you Trista for coming here. It's just 3 more weeks to KILL and I believe we could handle it nicely. And I know, our Xmas will be just wonderful!
I got this error message right after I turn on the computer in the morining. Bloody hell! I phoned Johnson, since he has strong knowledge toward the hardware. Luckly that he has free time and he could come over to help me out. NICE MAN!!!
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After checking on some details, we came out with the conclusion that my 2 years old mother board was out of order! It's around 120 bucks to get a new ASUS A7N8X-E-Delux and I have no other choices other than buying a new one immediately
While we were checking on the computer, Trista cooked pasta. No kidding, she cooks well!
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We went to NCIX on kingsway to buy the motherboard. When we got home again, we remove every single chip or connector from the old motherboard, and then put those stuff back on the new motherboard.
my CPU, GForce card and two 512MB DDR RAM
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Welcome the new mother board!
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Finally around the dinner time, we fixed up everything and I could use the machine again. Luckly that there is only the mother board to be replaced. Sometime I do worry about all my data in the hard drive.
Thank you Johnson again!!!
1st, The last Math midterm will be finished today.
2nd, I will go take picture for UBC Volleyball games.
3rd, Trista will come over tonight from Calgary. YEAH!!!
4th, Going to watch "Bridge Jones's diary 2", with Trista, ET and James
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About the game, I think UBC won both men and women games. I took some picture during the match. Most of them were blurred. I think I should spend more time to make manual focus fast and accurate.
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The movie was good, funny and lovely. I think the 2nd one is better than the first one. Well, Trista thought the first one is more attractive. Anyway, both of them are great movies.
YEAH, weekend!! Finally I could go take a rest.
The stock I used to buy went up 2 dollars after I sold them few weeks ago. And the stock I am holding now went down 20 cents. Why I always miss the chance? Maybe I should spend more time to manage some analyzing techniques. Maybe Trista is right, it doesn't mean to be my money!
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SIRI even went up from $4.7 to $5.6 this afternoon in the "after hour trading".
So, If I shouldn't blame myself on the stock performance, I should definitely blame myself on my 2nd ECON midterm. From my very first ECON course till now, I didn't get any mark on any exams below 75%. and my lowest grade in my 10 ECON courses so far is A-. So, to me, ECON is the field which I could easily get high mark without spending too much time.
However, I got 55% on my 2nd midterm.
When I wrote this exam a week ago, beside one question, I was so sure about what I wrote. and I was shocked when I saw this mark. Looking all over the paper, I was too careless on many small aspects, losing 1 mark here and 1 mark there.
Sometime, when you are so sure about your ability to do something good but just couldn't do it well when the moment came. You feel nothing but angry.
Adding these things together in one day, I doubt about myself.
I wish I could never let these things happen again. If I could do sth. good, then I should prepare even more and make it perfect.
Anything I could do, I " WILL " do better!
the "Through the Looking Glass"?
"... Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.
If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least TWICE as fast as that! ..."
This's what I am doing now!
Why Canada always charges higher price than US? I bought a Wall Street Journal today to read. It's $1 US dollar per print in USA but here, it is $2.25 bucks per print. Bloody hell. I think I will just subscribe the online version. $8 bucks per month only including the Barron's online as well.
Lately, I've been busy on the school stuff. I found myself HARD to concentrate on the textbook. I went back home this afternoon, I planned to study, however, I slept for 1 hr then went downstair to swim for another hr. and Now, it's almost 5:30, I did nothing but fooling around. ohoh, I did read some articles in Wall Street Journal. :) I don't know why, I found the WSJ way better than textbook.
It's getting dark now. I found out some pictures I took before from my balcony.
the bchydro office building
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the skytrain station downstair
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OH I wish this week could be gone quickly.
15th Nov. cs-database assignment due.
17th Nov. cs-database midterm.
19th Nov. Math-Calculation IV midterm.
Now, it's cooking time!!!
Uh, it's funny that how the ticket machine in one of the downtown parking lot worked. Usually, the ticket machine is pretty fast to process, no matter you use credit card or cash. BUT this baby is not like that. After I slide my credit card. The LCD showed me the following messages:
@ 0 sec: " Please wait for the wireless network "
after 30 sec: " Initial connection by Wireless Network "
another 30 sec later: " Proccess your request by Wireless Network "
almost 1 min later: " Prepare to print the ticket by Wireless Network "
At this time, everyone just said "ohoh, it's still alive!". Yup since we all thought the machine "DIED" already.
in another 10 sec " printing ticket by Wireless Network "
What the hell is the matter with "wireless network"?
Then finally " Thank you for using the wireless network terminal "
That's HOW I was late " WIRELESSLY "! ....... What kind of buster designed this machine, by the way? Definitely he didn't take any cs course at UBC.
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The opera was so good. I read about the story when I was around 10 years old? Yup, by reading those books with picture inside, illustrating every sence. But I don't know why, I am not a huge fan of Cosette but Eponine. Maybe she has strong passion toward life and love!
Frankly, I was happy to watch opera by myself, but I believe that watching opera with Trista, could be Happier!
" Will the future ever arrive? ... Should we continue to look upwards? Is the light we can see in the sky one of
those which will presently be extinguished? The ideal is terrifying to behold, lost as it is in the depths, small,
isolated, a pin-point, brilliant but threatened on all sides by the dark forces that surround it; nevertheless, no
more in danger than a star in the jaws of the clouds "
Victor Hugo
Evening time belongs to basketball! My editor sent me to take picture for the game between UBC and SFU. But this time, he wants women team, other than the men's.
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I so want UBC to win this game. BUT girls lost.
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After the game, there was a short ceremony to celebrate the "national champion" title UBC women basketball team gained last year.
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Haaaaa, after all, men won the game. Dongdong, Eric and I were all exciting about the result! Friday night, UBC will play at SFU. GO T-birds!!!
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
and i love you baby, with all my heart!
I do!
I've been listening this song again and again. I felt sweet and warm. And it makes me miss my Tirsta even more.
I am happy today. The rainbow after the storm is always pretty and it makes people cherish the happiness more than ever. I am also happy that there are friends surrounding me. They care about me and care about my relation with Trista. Thank you!
I finish my econ midterm today. well, I did ok. Now, I felt relax. I've been watching Ally Mcbeal from 4:30 till 8:30pm. I love that TV shows.
No picture for today. Why i need to put picture everyday? heehee..I love photography, but it doesn't mean that I am possessed by Pictures. Talking about possession, how many people have this thought that "when I become rich, I will just buy a nice car, M5? or a 600,000 house"? Oh guys, please forget about it. To enjoy your life is more important than showing off the high comsumption level you are in. And some one thought that wealthy means the ability to possess more. I think they are wrong, or at least, I believe what I thought: Never ever let youself be possessed by possession! If you are, then your life will just be too pathetic and meaningless. Again, this is only "Maxlism". No offense!
By the way, Trista believes this as well. That's why we are couple! hee hee...Isn't it wonderful that you could always share thoughts/ideas/feelings with someone who really know you and love you? God I love my life!
ohoh, Muffin should agree with me as well. Otherwise:
NO FOOD OR DRINK!
NO SLEEPING WITH ME!!!
NO PEEKING WHEN I AM IN SHOWER!!!
meow
but
Two things could totally destory it:
1. Being disappointed again and again on the same issue.
2. Couldn't find my value anymore.
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One field that I really don't like is the studio modeling thing. Well, shooting still object in studio is fine, but shooting people in studio.....nah..not for me. I don't know why, I feel it's fake. I know there are lot of techniques to taking a nice studio image. I still feel it's fake.
hee hee...maybe someday after I tried it, I could change my mind. But for now, I'd like shooting people in the natural way, when they don't know the existing of the camera, when they are concentrating to performance themselves to others other than the camera. There are beauties in those moment. and I always want to capture them.
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Anyway, UBC rocks! Both women and men's team won their games tonight. Oh, Thursday night, 11 Nov, UBC will play against SFU. Come and cheer!!!!
Finally, I found out the name for the Japanese writer, Haruki Murakami, whom i mentioned few days ago. There are two Japanese writers that I really love. One is him. The other one is Yukio Mishima.
"Norwegian Wood" was the first I book I read about Haruki Murakami. I think the reason that I love his work is because his writing is surreal and unique. The way he describes the environment, the inner side of someone's mind, the feeling when people make love or even some unreal moments, is always so detail, real and tender. Everytime I read his book, I could feel like as if I was there too.
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About Yukio Mishima, people can't just describe his works in couple of sentences. You need to read them and to feel them. Starting from his "Patriotism", you will love it. It's just a short fiction which will only take you around 30 mins to read over.
I wish someday in Dec, we could lay on the sofa by each other, reading these books in our pj. There will be music, fireplace, wines. I am 100% sure that it will be just wonderful! ...................and I miss you now.
UBC women team lost the game by 9 points. well, they played good, but U of Calgary played better! Specially the No.7 in Calgary. She looked just like a highschool student.(around 1.60m high) However, she scored at least 30 points. and I witnessed her getting 8 points within 1 min in the 2nd half!!!
This is the No.7 of UCalgary
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For man's, UBC dominated the whole game. They had a very nice defense. And their offense, no matter from inside or outside, was wonderful. so, at the last min, UBC won by 20 + points.
Happy T-birds fans!
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oh, an interesting thing happened during the 2nd half. A FULLY NAKED guy suddenly ran into the court!!! hee heee...really really! so funny. it's pity that I wasn't ready to take shoot at that time. so I missed this once in a life time thing.
tonight, I wasn't in a mood to take pictures. Specially in the first half, I only took 2 pictures and both were blurred. I wish tomorrow, I could at least have some feeling. and I need take some better picture for Tuesday's Ubyssey paper.
Finally, my knee recovered from the wound. and tomorrow I could go downstair to swim. YEAH!!!
This is the swiming pool in my building. Trista and I love it very much. It's so comfortable to swim there, no matter day time or evening.
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Tomorrow, I will study hard at home. And in the evening, there will be another basketball game between UBC and whatsoever team. I will go to take picture as well. I love T-birds!!! and I want to use my camera to keep those unforgettable memories!
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I've been day dreaming about driving STi for days already. I download some wallpaper, and put them in use. so, my two 19 inch CRT monitors could show me two STi wallpapers. hee hee... quite enjoyable!
I even found out the engine sound from internet. you can try it by clicking here. and you can check out the STi's official website at www.wrx-sti.ca I will buy this STi for sure. And the color will be white!!
More and more I enjoy driving. I believe that the way people drive reflects their personalities!
my desktop
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How many bags can you carry at once? Today, I carried 9 bags with my two NAKED hands. This is a new record to me. I bought lot of foods. This weekend, Max could just stay at home, studying, cooking, watching dvd. woow....nice nice!
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I just realize that I didn't upload any pictures about my new Apt. So, I upload one here. It's kind of dark. I will retake some in the day time on the weekend.
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To Mom: see!!! I do clean up room everyday and keep it in a nice condition.
Tomorrow, UBC T-birds will play b-ball game against UCalgary. Hee hee..Trista's team. I got email from my editor, asking me to take pictures. :) Sure!!! I'd love to go.
I open my journal and want to write down something. Something about my current life.
Dad and Mom are now in beijing. Trista is in Calgary. Muffin is beside but she couldn't talk. :( I sometime miss Nonno and Cheeta who i didn't see for almost half year.
So, what about my life? My life is pretty simple but I enjoy it alot.
Everyday, I clean up my room.
Everyday, I cook for my dinner.
Everyday, I check my stock performance.
Everyday, I went to school(but may or may not attend the class. weird uh? i don't care!).
Every week, I got email from Ubyssey's photo editor, telling me what kind of events will be at UBC during this week. Then I pick whatever I like to try and give him a reply. Then I'll go to shoot, submit the pictures afterward and wait, wait for the pictures to be published on Ubyssey. Like today's issue, there are totally 4 pictures taken by ME!
Beside photography, I spend time on reading, reading text book, reading fiction or other references on my book shelf. I read 80% of what I bought.
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For the rest 20%, I so want to read but not yet have time to do so. Like these fictions by one of my favourite Japanese writer. (well, i still don't know how to say his name in English)
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I also spend time watching DVD and listening music. The love from my family(Dad, Mom and Trista), photography, book, movie, music and friendship are major components of my spiritual life. Luckily I know how much I appreciate them and how to cherish them.
Sports (like Tennis, Golf and Basketball), travelling and the 3 letters word starting with "s" dominate my physical life. Like tonight, Dongdong and I went to SRC to play basketball for 2 hrs. One on one for 4 games and I lose.
I also spend lot of money and time going to watch shows. All kinds of shows, like opera, concert, dancing. I could go by myself. (trista is not here!) and I could still enjoy it. I don't know why, sometime, I like doing things by myself. I feel good to go watch movie by myself, even go to some nice restaurants, eating alone. Like I said, loneliness doesn't mean unhappiness. Since I don't need to pretend anything toward myself. so, I could be 100% real and do whatever I want. and in this way, I feel relax.
I do appreciate my relation with Trista. Since she is also the one who could let me be 100% of myself. Thank you sweetie!
My life here, alone in Vancouver,
with a nice place to live.
with a decent car to drive.
with a cat who meow meow to me everday.
with a wonderful girlfriend who is loveing me and supporting me no matter what.
with a great parents who are watching me and protecting me.
with a couple of good friends who could underestand me and help me when I need.
with a good life style, a healthy body and more important: a positive mind.
I am so lucky that I have everything I need. For the rest, I will just do it. To pursue the dream I have had for long time.
and I believe myself that for everything you can do, I can do better!
A happy November starts!!!
A minor change in my journal. From now on, I will put the newest entry on top of the page, instead of the bottom. It's easier for people to locate it.
photo reserved & copyright @ april28th.com Yinan Wang