when you wake up at 3 in the morning and all you could think is the same person again and again.
Doing this for days, weeks, even in the daytime, missing became the background music of your life.
Are you falling in love?
I was driving on the way to my office. 8 oclock in the morning, the traffic was heavy.
I drove and drove, thinking about the past couple of months in China. I realized I was in a weird stage of my life, yet an important stage.
Can't believe it's the end of August already. Past seems going futher away from me. The quality of my life became more and more important.
Career has a wonderful start. China a is great place but is different from where I used to live in the last 7 years.
A lot of things went wrong here but they were wrong in the right way or say the Chinese way.
I am adapting myself into this new social system ......
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I am waiting, like the sunflower, standing tall in the sands of love.
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Somehow I was kind of disappointed. Too many visiters with too little paintings to enjoy.
But going with her was absolutely a right decision and without any doubts, I like the feeling when we were together. It's just comfortable!
Today is an important day to me since I realized something. Something which may change my life!
I dropped my cell phone few days ago. Today, I could no longer use it. I need a new cell phone.
What will it be?
A Sony W810C or a Nokia N73?
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A sweet couple.
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A happy time!
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I forget when was the last time we kept emailing each other. It's just so nice to hear from you again. I decided to write you a reply through my blog and I believe you know the reason.
To be frank, I think Hongkong is where you belong to and BKK shouldn't be your destiny. You still have your family and friends back in HK. Although I don't know your current situation in Tailand but part of my reason for going back Beijing was because of my parents. I believe for what you could get there you could get at least the same in HK. But either way, I will be on your side for whatever you chosed to do.
Sometime I thought about my old friends, like you. I wonder when could be the next time to meet again. When we meet, could we still talk with each other like the old time?
Anyway, I am super tired today. stop here now. Keep in touch!!
yours,
Max
I was dealing with some high end storage backup systems for whole day. I picked up what I used to learn in the university and got my hands on some new systems. Expensive ones. I was impressed by the speed of Fiber Optic.
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I am thinking about setting my own RAID-5 system up. Although it requires more hardware devices than a RAID 0+1 system, the write/read speed would be improved alot from RAID 0+1.
Anyway it's cool to work on some real computer stuff. After all, CS is my major.
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I increased the RAM to 1G and run with a pair of 1.8HZ Intel CPU. Although the machine is capable to run windows under Rosetta, I decide to stick with OS X. There are tons of nice features that I enjoy from this little guy. (i.e the backlighted keyboard, remote control , optical audio output and firewire plug with build in bluetooth) It's a super user-friend machine. It makes you believe that Apple actually thinks for you.
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Maybe because it's the Apple's first generation laptop adapting the Intel CPU, the laptop is way too hot after using a while. The fan isn't strong enough to cool down the dual giants.
Anyway, I like it.
I didn't see such beautiful sunset for a while. It's so pretty. I wish I could capture what I really saw but I couldn't.
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Tonight I met up an old friend from highschool and two new friends. I made cocktails for them. Talking with girls was intriguing and cheerful. One of them asked the question about the purpose of being. What Stefan Zweig wrote in one of his book was something like: once you realize that your life means something to others, you could then realize the true meaning of being. Maybe he is right ......
Anyway, the sunset today was beautiful. And I know tomorrow will be better.
SUNSINE EVERYDAY!
:)
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... ... ...Long walk ......
nice feeling ............ a cool place
Max's boring images ...... ...... two hours at
The Great Wall.
It didn't look good when the computer table was behind the sofa. And now, I put the table against a round shape window and I like it there.
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Once I settle down, I could then concentrate on what I need to do.
Simon's new friends. :) They are lovely.
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I am rearranging my living room. A working area was set up there.
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Talking online with a new friend, Mr.Wu Hua who works in HuaXia Time, about books. Surprisingly, both of us like Garbriel Garcia Marquez's "One Hundered Years of Solitude". BZ should be happy. It's his favorite book as well.
I am experiencing something, something new to me. I never had this kind of feeling, at least not in the last 3 months. I feel happy and cheerful.
It's a great feeling and I hope it's a good start.
...
Helping out at the Ubyssey is more fun than it was to actually work there (at least for a Production Manager). The only pang of nostalgia I experienced was when I walked alone to the vending machine to get a drink. There was always this special kind of feeling making that lone walk to the vending machine at midnight, in the quiet of the Student Union Building, no one around and no end in sight to the evening, the paper in complete disarray... it was this tiny silent break in a cacophony of stress when you reflect on how great your job is and how much you'll miss it when it's done. So I guess it was a feeling of nostalgia for a time when I knew I'd feel nostalgic later
...
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Interestingly I found this photo that I took on August 16th 2005. A year ago, when Michelle walked back to Ubyssey Office through the hallway in the SUB. It's was midnight and we were still working in the office. Someone put our papers all over the basement's floor......
Another random photo I took on certain production night. She was so concentrated.
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I miss the production night.
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Douglas Coupland's "JPod" will be my next reading. I am sure it's a great book. Thank you Champagne!
No matter what ......
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Muffin is always here with me ......
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I designed and implemented the new Ubyssey website and now it's launched at www.ubyssey.bc.ca
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Beside few unfinished sections, the website is ready to run. I wish I could get the webmaster job there. I want to be as close as I could to Ubyssey.
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After few hours of unpacking, I started to arrange my bookshelf. I have no idea how long it gonna take but I wanna make it look good.
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Untill today, I didn't start my life at all in Beijing.
Lately, I've been playing indoor tennis twice a week, two hours in each booking. I found some new friends who could play together with me. I am happy to have such scheduled time to do some exercises. I still keep myself busy to meet different family friends who are experienced in their own field. I tried to talk as much as possible, asking different questions. Sooner or later, I could make my final decision and start the endless hard working.
Like last night, I talked with Mr.An Kang, boss of China Air Cam, about Air Photography. He is so talented in this field and we talked from dinner time all the way to 2am. Air Photogrpahy is a brand new technique to me. What Mr. An does is using a remote controlled airplane to do video/still photography. He has a team of people who are experts in different area. I am exciting about it. Maybe one day I could become a great air photographer and have my own team. That would be great!
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At that time, he was a pop singer. Last week, he ran into my parents in a shopping mall and that's how we could meet again.
Talking with him was fun. We talked nothing but music and life. I remembered that whenever he played the keyboard, his eyes looked different and he was so happy. I mean he was truly happy...... because music is his passion.
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Those two things made me think, deep thinking, about what I should do. There are always many options in my life. I don't know. I am still too young to have enough self-knowledgement. Milan Kundera said being sincere to youself is the only way to find your ultimate happiness. And the sincerity requires self-knowledgement and the self-knowledgement is the fruit of age.
I should take my time. It doesn't mean to waste it but be wise before I make the final decision.
Following my passion or to be more realistic about life? What is my "Personal Legend"?
I appreciate the breaking up and the sudden change of my living environment. Without them, I could only repeat what I used to do. Now, I have a prefect chance to appreciate the past, to learn from my own history, to be real calm and to find my passion and the reason of being. What's more important, it presents me the line to separate the future from the past and a perfect opportunity to study about myself.
By doing this, I will not regret about my life. By following what I truly want, I could be happy.
The true happiness.
And I believe, one day my true love will come. No matter who she is, I will be ready.
photo reserved & copyright @ april28th.com Yinan Wang