 |
don't go away ...
 |
I think, I am in the darkest time period ever in my life.
I am losing my dream ......
Everything I did, means nothing now. What's worse, I started destory what I finally built up.
Discipline, I need discipline.
 |
I've finished a 3 hours live interview about my new book in Beijing Radio Station FM100.6
The live video clips are now on its website.
Here is the link for one of them:
http://v.bjradio.com.cn/play/Play?id=11082
I need a regular life, and I need a stable relationship, a wife who loves me in real!
Otherwise, I will die, young, with no doubt.
 |
A life which disappears once and for all, which does not return,
is like a shadow, without weight, dead in advance,
and whether it was horrible, beautiful, or sublime,
its horror, sublimity, and beauty mean nothing.
It's painful.
There may be a small operation involved. Who knows?
Beside this, I had a wonderful trip. I met new friends. They are kind.
 |
Saturday night, I will have one and half hour radio interview.
It will be on FM100.6 / AM828, starting from 22:00 to 23:30.
I think they will setup a live video broadcast over internet as well. Let's see.
The fun part is I will take overnight-train instead of aircraft.
The sad part is I need to take an overnight train.
Anyway, it's a photo trip, which means there will be photography and nothing else.
 |
It's good to leave emptiness behind, be on the road!
Nothing is better than having a dream and go for it.
 |
Most of the time, I work alone till late night, with music on, loud.
Few times, friends came over, we sat at the patio, talking, laughing, eating ice-cream, watching rain falling.
Life should be simple, right? Am I making everything too complicated?
Am I too naive?
 |
It's my first time listening "Great Lake Swimmers"'s album.
This Canadian indie music brought me one peaceful mind.
It's like the air in Vancouver, like moutains, trees in the Rockies,
It's like my memories, all, about her.
It's just too pity, no one could join me, here, now ......
I found my blog from last year, same time, and It said:
I don't know what to say to express my feeling in this cloudy autumn day. Everything is chilled out.
When I drove in the morning, I felt the feeling which I missed for long time. A simple happniess or say a cheerful echo rose up.
A slow, tender piano solo played in my mind. It just calmed me down to the greatest scale.
Each day, I woke up and wondered what should I do today. Some days, I obeied myself and followed the exact plan.
Yet other days, I lost track in some sort of sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past or current situation.
I love Beijing in autumn.
The sadest time ever to me is knowing my dream has no way to come true,
regardless of how hard I try.
It's better to burn out than to fade away.
I need a long journey, long enough to leave everything behind and start something new.
 |
love actually ......
Well it's actually 1am on the 8th. I finished the new issue of mag28th, tired.
Tried something new in this issue. I tried to express myself in more abstract way.
Sometime, a simple light spot could explain everything in my life.
Having no idea why, I have this huge desire/passion to express, freely and boundlessly.
Don't think, I could hold myself anymore.
 |
There is a quote in it, it says
"I love you not because of who you are ,but because of who i am when i am with you "
I believe it.
Should I give myself one last try?
If there is fate, lead me, please!
 |
I am listening Renee Fleming's "Im Fruhling", a 5 mintues true inspiration.
 |
I had a short break to explore some areas in ChongQing before my afternoon interview at local broadcasting center.
Different from any other Chinese cities in which I've been visited, CQ is filled by life.
It's hard to explain but when I walked on the street, when I took photos, when I observed little aspects and taste local food,
my eyes opened, my spirite went hight.
 |
Leaving the nostalgia for the visiting in Chongqing,
I landed Chengdu in late night.
There will be two nights and a day before going home.
Sweet journey.
 |
My new book is released today. I am in city of Chongqing, attending the book signing event.
 |
Still have jet leg and last night I was almost sleepless. I miss my family.
I wish the book could have a good sale.
photo reserved & copyright @ april28th.com Yinan Max Wang